Chodesh Tov! We are a few days into the month of Tevet, a month of purification, emotional healing, and self reflection. Tevet is often considered a challenging month, but only because our souls are yearning to be improved, and so our weaknesses rise to the surface, waiting to be healed.
The sense connected with Tevet is anger. Anger can of course be righteous. Hashem himself is described as being angry in Tehillim, and when we respond to an injustice in the world with anger, or a sin in our life, and that anger causes us to take action and make a change, then it certainly can be righteous.
But for most of us our experience with anger isn’t usually righteous. It is in fact, usually sinful.
For ages I felt guilty about the anger I felt, and the way I erupted, but through my research on Tevet I’ve seen that this anger is actually just a wound within me that needs to be healed. Of course, Hashem is the ultimate healer, and while I am often really focused on physical health, I need Him to be with me and by my emotional and spiritual healer as well.
This month of Tevet is a great opportunity to spend some solid time in prayer (more than your morning or evening prayers – some deep reflection time) so that you can find the root cause of any anger within you. Finding this cause gives us an amazing opportunity to grow, heal & expand. Talk to G-D about the hurt and anger you feel and ask Him for help and direction on how you can respond better.
Questions & activities for personal reflection:
- Today and tomorrow, take specific note of how you act in the day. Do you experience any negative emotions? Prayerfully choose which ones you want to work on this month.
- Alternatively, look inward, and ask yourself “What is a negative emotion I often have?”. See what pops into your head first. Trust that this is Hashem leading you.
- Do you experience any anger in your life? Is it frequent, or sporadic? Does it affect other people? What is the root of this anger? Note: This is an internal root – it can not be another person, or another situation. This has to be something within.
- Write yourself a letter specifically addressing this anger or negative emotion. Treat yourself like a mentee you are looking after. Be truthful, but kind in your critique and encouragement.
- Once you’ve discovered the root cause of your anger or negative emotion, make an action plan of how you will process it. Do you need some time to cry, pray, and write
- Organise a time with your spouse, or someone else who can help so you have time this month to heal.
- Create yourself a beautiful reminder that you can stick to the wall in your kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, car… anywhere you spend a decent amount of time and need to be reminded!